An issue that I raise privately with women in classes of my main teacher of Chinese Healing classes, Master Mantak Chia, during times when he teaches any form of ‘Healing Love’ classes is that of ‘Boiling Points’ or arousal rates. He knows I have expressed my belief aloud, and I confess exasperation because I feel he has not opened to these type of ideas and included them in his books. I was included as a consultant in his book, the Multi-Orgasmic Woman, thanks to the co-author, Rachel Carlton’s request. My concerns and those suggestions on that subject that I offer in this article were not edited into that book. For years I have enjoyed speaking to women on this subject to get their opinions.
In years before and after the request for my consultation in that book, many students of Mantak Chia (both women and men,) have agreed with such opinions. Their experiences were similar to mine. This leads me to believe that there are many women who have a marvelous capacity for unlimited orgasm which Master Chia brought forth, but also rapid boiling points. Recently in autumn of ’10 when I write this article, the old saw was rehashed on The Doctors television show on CBS in the United States: “It takes women longer to get aroused then men.” This old saw has got to be sawed off ‘at the knees’ and used more carefully or be transformed with newer research. Stating such observations aloud makes women think that their case of being slow or even feeling numb or deadened sexually is a standard way women come into the world with nothing to be done to change it. So then they do nothing except retreat more into their safety zones.
In this world there is great interest in multiple orgasm, but it seems to those untrained in the techniques of Universal Healing Tao and other Tantric Ancient practices, that often a still limited type of ‘orgasm by the numbers’ is what is commonly discussed. To clarify I’d like to cite as an example, that on Oprah Winfrey’s TV show from the USA, a woman speaking about the quantity of her orgasms said, “I have eight or ten orgasms at a time”, and Oprah rolled her eyes in admiration. Sorry, but it seems a shame that women are looking toward such limited role modeling. When we learn our practices correctly, there are too many orgasms to even count. With ‘Valley Orgasm’ understandings, we can enter into a continual, non-stopping roller coaster of waves of bliss beyond bliss. (Where does one begin and end and then another and another? It can feel that continual orgasm is so normal.) Women and men equally can train to do so. And it becomes a spiritual experience that is precious. This is such intensified healing energy. My belief is that it works in this way because Universal Healing Tao practitioners combine our Sexual Energy practices with the development of the 5 Virtues which brings to sexuality so much more vitality. In my opinion, the study of 5 Element Virtue Power is what really brings the heightening toward becoming orgasmic without limit. This increases the speed of the boiling point, although some people are of that nature more easily than others.
A high speed of arousal can lead to this type of continual orgasm developing to become so intense, or in some it works in reverse. Some can allow the intense orgasmic capability to increase the speed of the arousal. We are all different. Either way, it is like the richest chocolate. Too much and you get ‘fat’… or overfilled. I suppose there are some who can go for hours and hours, just because any behavior can be cultivated. The question might be is: does anyone have that much free time? I believe overly indulging in orgasm/bliss is like anything else that we love too much: addictive. There are exceptions to this statement, yet to become one who cares to transform themselves via this path surely must utilize a great deal of patience and respect. In becoming one who is not bound by the physical limitations of society that have been passed down for a very long time, one must first realize how stuck they might have been in the first place.
One might imagine that they can transform with a few lessons and that is usually what gets people to drop the practices before they know what they really are about. Many are so bound in ego that it is impossible for them to begin to even imagine how much one can evolve to become a being with less limitations in behavior that our society claims is only one particular way. This is true for both sexes and I personally have taken years to come to see my personal need to watch the wonderful teacher ‘ego,’ give me masterful lessons. Why not take years for yourself to set out and do the practices with no expectation until finally you have ever increasing, blissful orgasm after orgasm.
Master Chia, when I last saw him in Sept., ’10, was still teaching the commonly accepted differentiation of “boiling points” in men and women. I had written an article that was published in the American Healing Tao magazine that we still call, “Immortal Child’ in the early 90′s. There I spoke of how I personally experimented in the mid 60′s up until ’84 in ‘swinging’” when I was a single woman. From the time I began until when I stopped to become monogamous, I witnessed during sexual relations taking place in the same room near my own relations: many women had comfort and discomfort zones at swinging parties of many varieties. Over the years, before my eyes, transformations were happening. My observations shaped my views. Certainly men were ‘party’ to influencing their partners during those sex parties, as women were either dragged to those parties by their mates or were freely expressing themselves due to feeling safety in numbers. The numbers of free thinking women grew to become more freed up in those twenty years. Naturally, great differences of possibilities exist that make it difficult to generalize. Yet, I feel certain that in this laboratory of sexual attitudes, I witnessed a transformation taking place for many participants. Most people who are exposed more to new possibilities can shed old bonds. The majority of people in this world have no interest in finding uninhibited sexual expression with multiple partners.
Men had always had a seeming ‘permission’ to be much more promiscuous. The culture of ‘swingers’ permitted women to ‘come out of their closet’ of repressions long imposed. I will detail more about this in following conclusion to this article. But first I believe that my generation, the oldest baby boomers, were seemingly pioneers. (Yet throughout ages there were at times an open sexuality in and amongst different classes of societies.)
As an example of my last statement, let’s look at the common knowledge of Italy at the time of the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius. Pompeii was one of many cities where raw sexuality was cultivated. Skipping ahead in history, these exceptions of common sexual expression were rarer than the norm in the Western world. It is common knowledge during the recent history of the 19th and 20th centuries the existence of the various repressed times before, during and after (Queen) Victorianism and Puritanism in the Old and New Worlds dominated for a cruel, long period. Double standards were the norm. Even China, Japan and India were as caught up in such extremes being that no one could even show their doctors their naked bodies and even be touched by them. In all of the East and Middle East between couples and in red light districts, sexuality could be something Westerners would ‘write home about.’ When historians seriously began to consider the history of Ancient understandings of sexual freedom periods in history, this fascinating subject could not be burned into non-existence. Books of information about China’s and Indian’s sexual practices were not distributed commonly. During the Cultural Revolution of Mao Tse Tung in China, a majority of books of all spiritual and sexual practices were burned. In many other parts of the world that maintained behaviors that Westerners saw as ‘primitive’ and seemed to be against their religions, sexuality was more open and raw and not riddled with shame, guilt and repulsion through the repression. Whenever anthropologists cited world-wide sexual behaviors uncommon to the West, reactions were often of outrage. Shame and guilt which had been predominately the attitude of so many cultures throughout time took over so that arousal and orgasm shrank in women. Many men who were repressed experienced a few seconds of ejaculatory release. Often their hurry to ‘get it over with’ disabled orgasm potential in their women as well as themselves. This article is focused more on women, however.
If a culture is set on repressing women, (and men as well), naturally people feel guilty and their boiling points get put out before they can be fired up, (or never fired up in some women and men.) Repression is still found too commonly in our society. We are meant at times or always, to be free, bubbling and boiling orgasmic beings. We are not supposed to be gauged by female/male status, sexual preference or by other personality traits. Free women of older times could wind up with a Scarlet Letter. Mantak Chia always said that doing Universal Healing Tao practices in building one’s health, were enabling us, his students to overcome our horoscopes, biofeedback types and therefore, I ask, why not overcome the cultural repressions imposed on us? Why not use the Ancient practices now backed up with studies from modern biology and Quantum physics that can support the ancient sexual alchemy knowledge? Can’t we come to prove that advancement of modern orgasmic behavior is indicated by gathering enough modern peoples’ experiences? Where are modern studies of those who have seen great results through thinking about the possibilities brought about through mind-body-spirit, energy and emotional training practices? Enough people must be the experimenters themselves and carefully follow practices such as those given to us by Mantak Chia in his books to his students. Those who are his certified instructors all benefit by helping to spread our own understandings of our years of practices. Other systems exist as well, and there are limitless opinions and techniques to be observed by the curious. In a recent article about well known tantric teachers, I read that a great deal is said, in their workshops, about nurturing past wounds in women who have been raped or otherwise hurt which has limited their trust in who they truly are. Certainly we must be gentle with such women, yet more education must go forth to stop barbaric behaviors of mostly, but not limited to, men towards women. My idea, however is to greatly enhance the information of, as I said earlier, who we women are: We are the most easily aroused, multi-orgasmic beings. Anything that happened in the past to hurt ladies once terrorized, I believe can be overcome through positive role models that can well be focused on to pull them from the depths of the darkness back toward light. It certainly must be stated, that due to the extremes in numbers of women who have had abuse which some report at three out of every ten, it would be very challenging for anyone to think that every one of those women could learn techniques to move them away from their challenges to become more orgasmic. This subject is not an open subject for everyone in this world. The information is much more available now and someone who wants to change can make an effort to open up their interest, and eventually consider that they can have a more free attitude to possibilities of gaining much more pleasure in their sex lives.
Since I wrote the above mentioned article in the early nineties, the culture has opened up even more than then. (It was toned down due to the spread of AIDS and people still need to take precautions against STDs. It is still necessary to spell this out! People are caught up in the sexual moment and need to be reminded: Responsible sexual encounters must be the norm without exception.) Sex scenes in so many modern films of this last 20 years and especially recently, are eye-opening for many people. Our World Cinema now commonly displays sexual philosophy and action that is even shocking to many of my generation and any generation depending upon their upbringing. This article is certainly not written with an intention to state whose values are right or wrong. We have had so much of that in our history. Attitudes still are split amongst our society and the way people conduct their sex lives are tremendously diverse as I write this article in 2010. This was not yet so when I pioneered in swinging in 1964. In the USA, our politics also are split greatly due to the diversity of thought about our sexuality.
Back to ‘Boiling Points’, there is no reason in the world for women to ever be told that just because of a chromosome they can’t have an immediately high arousal rate. In my case it is faster than many men I have known and only growing at the age of 64. It is becoming to be understood that after menopause one can unleash greater sexual blossoming than when one is younger and doing their best to conduct a career and some at the same time are raising a family. Both men and women Universal Healing Tao practitioners train to become people who know we don’t even have to touch or be touched to come to arousal and orgasm. We can just sit across from each other or get on the phone with our partner distances away or be alone. Our healing sexual energy can be transported energetically and psychically. We humans can penetrate beyond barriers where we can no longer trap ourselves if we aren’t awakened within the strictures of an unhurried developmental period that is safe. A great many years of proper training needs to be accumulated for results to be realized for most people. In both men and women, certain shyer personalities may take longer to train to open to their partner or even to themselves and give and receive the most profound exchanges of Healing Love. Love is built right into our DNA as a source that allows us beings to advance on the planet. And love is the most healing source that is in any medicine kit.
My history that I spoke of earlier in this article changed when I became monogamous with my 2nd husband from’84 until we parted in ’91, and with my wonderful husband # 3, Gene Cohan since we got together later in ’91 and married in ’93. There is so much to be gained in a sexual relationship that is sacred. It was not magic in those unions that changed me suddenly from a swinger to a monogamous wife, but it was that I understood gradually through development in my experiences. The healing qualities we can bring to each other as a couple are beyond most people’s common knowledge. En-training oneself to one person can spread great intentions for love, peace and wellness onward to the world psychically as we perform our love making. The lifestyle of ‘Swinging’ lost its appeal for me once I fully understood that at a deep level.
Does one have to be a PHD for Master Chia and the world’s sexologists to listen to all of us through our experiences? My good friend, Saida Desilets has offered her beliefs about female ejaculations to Master Chia and he now speaks of them with reverence. I am glad that he listens, (yet I personally do not agree that this type of orgasm is necessary or useful any more in women than it is in men, except for men’s sperm used in an act toward conception. Furthering this discussion is not intended to be included in the scope of this opinion piece.) Some people who are new to the points I am making here might be better able to understand the theories and beliefs I espouse here through reading the series of books on Multiple Orgasm by Mantak Chia to get a greater base in this important information that few authors had previously detailed as Chia has done since the mid eighties.
So many variants are possible for people to bring into their sexual development. Sex certainly never needs to be a routine. It need not be a battle of egos. It must not be something hidden behind doors that were imposed by early experiences that turned off some people to a world where you can renew yourself and your partner mentally emotionally, spiritually and energetically as well as the obvious physical releases we can receive.
Sometimes our tastes are influenced by mind rather than feeling, however. The jury will always be taking in more well documented facts of results of individuals’ personal journeys that need to be reported to those who scientifically research beyond the old Masters and Johnson’s conclusions. Looking up Kinsey Institute on a Google search, I found a non-comprehensive list of over 20 programs in Universities that train sex researchers. I myself hope to further research existing logs of available scientific material from recent archives.
Meanwhile, my personal suggestion to all of you is to read more and allow yourself to stay calm when “looking at the promised land.” You might be one who has already been cultivating your sexual energy. Whether or not that is true for you, anyone who wants to begin growing their spirituality through this particular branch of wisdom seeking can do so. It is not the only way to attain spiritual advancement: it is only one pathway. Seek and you will find.